


Don't count the miles.

by lilysstrawberryfield



Category: Berena - Fandom, Campwolfe - Fandom, Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 14:02:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11693163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilysstrawberryfield/pseuds/lilysstrawberryfield
Summary: After Elinor died, Serena went away, Bernie misses her terribly but knows that if she wants them to me together again she must wait for her. (canon divergent, Serena still pretty much went away but Jason stayed with Bernie)





	Don't count the miles.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, warning, it's been at least 5 years since I wrote something and I must say I've never wrote anything in english (not my native language) anyway this is my first Berena fic, I hope you like it! Special thanks to my fiancée (secretlywholocked) for helping me fixing the small errors and supporting me always! (title took from Christina Perri "Miles" song) Let me know if you liked!

## "Don't give up on what we're trying to do"

* * *

 

“I hope so.” -Those were some of the last words Serena said to her after being on the roof of Holby for hours. They drove home together. The drive was full of silence, but this time they didn't feel the need to talk at all. Bernie kept Serena’s hand on hers the whole time.  
They got home and she helped Serena get in her pyjamas and into bed, kissed her head and moved away  
\- “Don’t go.” - Serena took Bernie’s hand -  
\- “I’ll be back in a minute, love.” - Bernie kissed her again this time on her lips and saw Serena smile -

Bernie closed the door and walked downstairs to meet Jason.  
\- “Is auntie Serena okay?” - he looked worried -  
\- "She is, but we need to talk” - Bernie sat beside him on the sofa - “Jason, Serena has decided she needs some time alone,” - Jason didn’t said anything for a while -  
\- “I know it’s difficult but Serena need so time to think. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you,” - Bernie put a hand on Jason’s shoulder - “She needs to go to get better, she will be back soon.” -  
\- “Where is she going? When is she going? Can I talk to her?” - He looked in direction of the stairs -  
\- “She is asleep now,” - he had so many questions - “but you will talk to her in the morning” - Bernie felt Jason taking her hand  
\- “You will look after her, won’t you Dr Bernie?” - he looked so worried -  
\- “I promise I always will.” - she smiled at him -  
\- “Thank you. It's time i went to bed now. Goodnight Dr. Bernie.” - he started walking to his room -

Bernie made sure the house was locked up and walked upstairs, opening the door slowly, careful to not wake Serena.  
\- “I’m still awake,”- Serena said - “you don’t need to be so quiet.” - still sounding a bit drunk -  
\- “I spoke with Jason,” - Bernie said changing into her pyjamas and getting into bed - “He wants to talk to you in the morning before you go.” -  
\- “Is he okay?” - Serena felt Bernie’s body next to her and got as close as she could to her warm figure -  
\- “He is just worried about you.” -  
\- “Jason is the only family I have...” - even in the darkened room Serena could notice a hint of pain in Bernie’s eyes and she hurried to finish her sentence - “Him and you are all I have” - she saw Bernie smile -  
\- “We will be here for you when you’re ready” - she lowered herself so she could look at Serena.

 

They lay in silence for a while, and she enjoyed being so close to her after so long. The feeling of Serena’s body next to hers was her favourite thing. Bernie felt Serena’s hand on her face, slowly caressing the soft skin of her cheek and moving towards Bernie’s lips, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the warm touch of her lover.

Serena’s lips landed on hers, slowly, she got even closer, Bernie’s hand on her hip holding her, the kiss became deeper and more intense; teeth biting lips and tongues fighting for control in the most loving way. They lay like that for what it felt like hours, just kissing and holding each other close until sleep came for them.

* * *

The sun came through the window directly to Bernie’s eyes. Her back was pressed to Serena’s chest. She felt strong arms around her and the calm breathing of her love on her neck. She started to move slowly trying to turn and not wake her up. Eventually she managed to be face to face with Serena. Her face looked calm and a hint of smile appeared on her lips when Bernie kissed her forehead.

She was so very beautiful, she was missing her already. She had spent weeks missing her; Her Serena. Happy full of life Serena. She understood her pain in some way, and she wanted so desperately to help her, but she knew this time, Serena needed to do it alone.

She felt Serena moving under her arms she moved her face so Serena could rest hers under Bernie’s chin after a few minutes she felt Serena’s lips on her neck. A low moan left Bernie’s lips, she tried to contain herself, she wasn’t sure if Serena was totally aware of what she was doing. It had been a while since they had been in this situation, so very close.

Serena’s lips travelled all the way from her neck to her jaw till they reach the softness of Bernie’s lips, she had her eyes closed and Bernie closed hers when she felt Serena’s lips.

Hands touching Bernie’s soft abs, she trembled under her touch, aching for more, more of her talented and experienced surgeon hands. Serena moved away a bit and opened her eyes just to see Bernie’s face, red cheeks, slightly open red lips and then her eyes moved to look at her lover’s eyes, those deep brown eyes Serena always loved to get herself lost in. She saw the desire and love in Bernie’s eyes and she moved on top of her, kissing her again this time faster and more passionate.  
When Serena felt Bernie’s hands on her lower back pressing her closer and her teeth tugging on her lower lip, rough and gentle at the same time, she let a moan escape her lips. The major’s short nails slowly scratching her back made Serena realise her lover felt the same need that ran through her body. The need to be closer; to have more of her.  
-” Bernie,” - her name left Serena’s lips in a moan - “please.”  
\- “Are you...” - she tried to talk but soft lips stopped words from coming out -  
\- “please, just...” - Serena’s bit down Bernie’s neck leaving a mark there. - “I...”  
\- “I love you, Serena,” - she moaned as her hand moved between their bodies down Serena’s pyjama bottoms, she felt the warm centre of her woman, fingers slowly running through Serena’s wet, silky walls.

\- “God, Bern... Please” - her hips moving down to meet Bernie’s fingers -  
\- “You’re so beautiful” - her hands left her for a minute so she could push Serena’s body under hers. She kissed her while her fingers teased Serena’s clit, she felt her body shaking, one of her fingers running easily into Serena’s hot core making them moan at the same time. Serena’s walls slowly started clenching around her fingers and she slide another finger inside her lover.  
Serena moaned into her ear while her hands stated to look for Bernie’s underpants.

\- “Serena, you don’t have to...” - she cried stopping for a minute -  
\- “Hush,” – Serena kissed Bernie’s lips softly - I want to,” - she opened her eyes to look at her - “I want you...”.  
Bernie felt her lovers hand move freely through her wetness. Fingers moving and curling into each other, moans filling the room while the sunlight crept into the new day. Serena came with Bernie’s name on her lips, soon followed by Bernie’s deep ‘I love you’ moaned into Serena’s neck.

They hold each other for a while, sharing lazy kisses, the bliss filling their bodies after loving each other again. Bernie wished they could stay like this, alone in their own world, keeping Serena safe and close to her, but she knew she had to let her go for now, so she could find the peace she lost and then, if she was lucky, she will see her come back to her, to this little heaven they created with Jason.

\- “Bern...” - she heard Serena’s calm voice, she knew what was coming -  
\- “I know,” - she started to get up, and kissed her lips - “I’ll give you some time.” -  
Serena smiled, amazed at how Bernie always knew what she was thinking - “Thank you, I’ll be down in a minute.” – she kissed Bernie’s cheek, they smile to each other before Serena despaired into the bathroom -

Bernie enter the kitchen just to find Jason already there making what it looked like pancakes.

\- “Good morning Dr. Bernie.” - he said without looking up -  
\- “Good morning.” - she walked to make herself and Serena a cup of tea - “that looks amazing.” - she said looking at the mix on the pan -  
\- “I made pancakes," - he sounded proud - “They are auntie Serena’s favourites.”  
\- “I know,” - she smiled at the sweet gesture - “I think she will love them.” - the brews were ready - “I’ll take this to her and we will be down in a minute, is that okay?” –  
\- “Okay.” - he replied still concentrating on the pancake cooking

She found Serena, robe around her naked body and a case open on the bed, she felt her heart falling a little.

\- “Do you want a hand?” - She said placing a cup in Serena’s hands -  
\- “If you don’t mind,” - she took a sip, feeling the warm drink filling her body - “I still need to call Hanssen. Let him know my decision” -

Serena took her phone and sat on the small sofa near her window, the sun was high up but the weather still seemed cold outside. Bernie heard her talking from the bathroom, she was picking up some of Serena’s beauty products, her beauty creams, make up, adding the dark cherry red lipstick that she used on the very first official date they had.

The call wasn’t too long. She knew how much Hanssen appreciated Serena, so she was sure he would give her all the time she needed. He assured her that her ward was going to be waiting for her, adding ‘you leave us in good hands, Serena’ clearly talking about Bernie. Serena’s case was almost full, shoes, clothes, Serena made sure to put in Bernie’s shirt inside the case, the one she always used to wear every time she didn’t had Bernie’s body to hold during the night. Her laptop in her hand bag, phone and passport, "just in case..." Serena said.

Bernie took a quick shower and got dressed so they could go down and have a much-needed chat with Jason. The smell of pancakes travelled to Serena’s nose and she smiled. There had been a few, but significant times when Jason would make pancakes for her, like the morning after they played a game to know each other more and she had said how much she loved pancakes, or the morning after Bernie left for Kiev. Each and every time made better and special with Jason’s pancakes.

They sat in the dining table, Serena spoke first - “The pancakes are delicious, Jason, thank you!” - she received a smile in return of her comment, she was going to continue talking but Jason interrupted suddenly -  
\- “Is it true that you’re leaving auntie Serena?” - he looked right into his auntie’s eyes -  
\- “Yes. It is true.” - she said calmly -  
\- “Bernie said that you are going so you can get better and that you’ll be back when you’re ready.” - his eyes fixed in Serena’s -  
\- “That is true,” - she put her hand over Jason’s - “Ellie’s absence has been very difficult to me and I need time to heal.” - she decided she owed him the truth with him being sincere -  
\- “I see... I miss Ellie too, and I’ll miss you as well when you go.” - he saw a tear running down Serena’s cheek - “Will you miss me, auntie Serena?” -  
\- a half laugh half sob left Serena’s mouth - “Of course I will, especially our quiz nights” - she smiled at him -  
\- “Where are you going? Can I call?” - he asked now more relaxed -  
\- “I still don’t know where I’m going but I promise as soon as I can I’ll send a post card. And of course, you can call!” -  
\- “Will Dr Bernie still stay here while you’re not here?” - he asked taking another bite of his pancakes -  
\- “Well, that’s something you should ask her.” - She looked at Bernie and put her hand on her leg under the table - “But I think it would be a good idea, so you don’t feel alone.” -  
\- “Dr Bernie, would you like to stay here to wait for auntie Serena together?” -  
\- “I’d love to, Jason.” - she smiled at him and then took Serena’s hand in hers and placed a kiss to it, thinking that maybe being in Serena’s house, she would miss her a little bit less... -

The breakfast continued in relative silence, Jason every now and then would ask something like if she, Bernie, would still take him to get his fish and chips and watch World’s strongest man with him, at which Bernie said she totally would.

By midday they left the house on their way to the train station. Serena walked alone to the ticket station to get her one-way ticket, for now at least.  
They walked to the waiting station. Bernie’s hand never left Serena’s. Jason and Serena agreed a time to have her daily call, and Serena had explained that she may not call for a few days while she settle down and think for a while but she said she would call today to let them know she arrived safe, Jason accepted.

When they heard the train reaching the station they walked to it, Bernie’s eyes fix on the floor. She knew she had to be strong for Serena.

\- “I guess is time.” - Serena said feeling some tears starting to run down her face. She took Bernie’s face between her hands and gave her a kiss that turned longer than they both expected -  
\- “Please be safe.” - Bernie’s voice was getting weak - “I love you!” - she whisper into her ear -  
\- “And I love you!” - she smiled before kissing her one more time -” And you both,” - she said taking both Jason and Bernie’s hands on hers - “Look after yourselves.” - she hugged Jason - “Be a good boy.” - she kissed his forehead -  
\- “We’ll see you again, right auntie Serena?” - Jason said half smiling -  
\- Bernie knew what Serena’s reply would be, the same she gave her at Holby’s roof but instead she saw Serena smile - “Yes, Jason.” - she looked at Bernie - “I’ll come back.” - Bernie smiled and the three of them got into a quick hug just before the train stopped in front of them. Serena walked into the train and waved at them until the train disappeared into the distance.

Jason and Bernie came back to the house. She had a case they had picked up from Bernie’s place on their way back and takeaway to cheer herself and Jason up a little bit.

By 8.30pm the house phone rang and Bernie’s heart skip a beat when she heard Serena’s voice on the other side of the line, Jason had picked up the phone and smiled at his auntie’s voice. He asked if she was okay and told her Bernie got him a big bottle of coke and extra big chips, at which she heard Serena’s laugh saying she was spoiling him. They talk for a bit and then the call ended, the whole call was just with Jason but Bernie knew Serena would call before she went to bed.

When Serena called later that night they talked about the train trip and the weather. She didn’t mention where she was and Bernie knew it was better not to ask until she was ready, the emotions of the day still felt heavy on their bodies, there was silence in moments, neither of them with enough words to describe what they felt. By 10pm they had said good night, Bernie was going to end the call when she heard Serena whisper into the phone asking her not to do it. Smiling in the dark room she rested the phone next to her and just before they fell asleep Bernie heard her said ‘Time will fly’, neither of them knew how much time she would need, but no matter how long it took, Bernie would be there to welcome her home.


End file.
